How should I prepare for the mediation process?
Sometimes two people going through a divorce reach a point where they simply can’t agree on something. This is something that happens to the majority of divorcing individuals and is nothing to be alarmed about. Sometimes people just can’t agree and that’s okay. When a stalemate is reached, courts often order couples to undergo the mediation process. It can be as beneficial or as useless as you decide to let it be. For couples who are committed to letting the mediation process work, great miracles come from them. To couples who don’t believe in the power of mediation, its usefulness can end before it even begins.
How to get ready for mediation proceedings
It’s time to turn an issue or issues over to a mediator. It’s going to be a process, not just a one stop shop for settling all divorce differences. Before going into mediation, there are some things you can do to prepare.
1. Agreeing on mediation: Not everyone agrees willingly to mediation. If you want mediation to work, it’s best to make sure that you have a sit down with your spouse, or a phone call, or email communication, and ensure that you’re on the same page about mediation. In some instances, both parties will be on the same page. They might not believe mediation will work but they’re willing to try. Agreeing on the setting for the mediation and the time will help both parties feel comfortable in that setting and at that time.
2. Set goals: Both parties are going to have a list of goals they want to accomplish during mediation. Make your goals out and try to think of ways that you can achieve them. Discuss these goals with your attorney so that they can verify whether they are realistic goals or goals that should be addressed at the present time.
3. Choose a good mediator: When hiring a mediator, you should have some idea of his past history of success. Did he help both people achieve their goals in an amicable way? Did he make sure that both parties felt like they had been heard? Was he easy to speak to and communicate with? Most mediators will give you a solid idea of what kind of work they’ve done in the past. Their personality might also be a factor in whether or not they’re the right person for the job. Both parties should, whenever possible, agree on the mediator and the setting alike.
All of these things will help you prepare for the mediation process. Some people will tell you, though, that even with the most thorough preparation, there can still feel like something was left out during the process. Don’t be discouraged! Mediation is just one step in a very long process during very complex divorces. There will always be more need for a mediator in divorces where people have to work out things like child custody, alimony, and child support. The longer couples are together, the more they have at stake in a divorce. If you feel like you have very pressing issues in your divorce that need to be addressed but aren’t getting addressed, a mediator can be an excellent tool for accomplishing your goals and helping both parties feel more understood and heard. It’s all about fairness.
Can I get temporary support while we’re separated?
When couples decide to divorce, they don’t always decide all at once. The decision may takes weeks to reach and be done during a series of conversations, not just one long conversation where both parties reach the conclusion that a divorce is the right thing to do. Before a decision is reached, both parties are living together. In fact, even during a separation, both parties may live together for a time or find their lives closely related due to shared financial investments and property. It’s perfectly normal to ask whether or not you can get support before the divorce is final and during the separation period.
Can you get support during a legal separation?
The short answer to this questions is YES. You absolutely may qualify to get child support or spousal support before the divorce is final and perhaps even if you’re seeing a lot of your significant other or share parenting duties. That’s just the short answer though, and it leads into a much more important question: HOW do you get temporary support during the separation? For the non-primary earner, this is the question they need to answer.
In some instances, the custodial parent can begin a child support case even before they begin a case for divorce. This is because living arrangements during a separation and divorce can be very jumbled, and this confusion doesn’t negate the need for good child support or spousal support during the separation period. Children still have needs, even if both parents haven’t quite worked out the details of their divorce yet.
To get this type of support, you’ll likely need to hire a good lawyer. Divorce lawyers are there to handle such matters and ensure that your children, and you, are well taken care of even during the separation. And if your spouse is willing, it may be a matter of agreeing to the terms and signing the legal documents necessary to put the court ordered support payments in motion. Sometimes you’ll have disagreements and this is when you’ll need a lawyer the most.
Lawyers will sit down and mediate between both parties and try to reach a common goal that is in the best interests of children, the non-custodial parent, and the spouse that might need the support in order to continue living in the condition they were in when they were married. While this can be a very confusing time and there might be some disagreements, when you have a great lawyer on your side you’re going to find that you’re happier with the arrangement. Don’t leave anything off the table and let both parties fully vent to one another and let everyone involved know how things are going to be from then on.
Separation is temporary. It may end in reconciliation or it may end in a divorce. Either way, the children involved and the non-primary earner will need to have some type of support from the person leaving the marriage that makes the most money. This is in the interest of the entire family. Don’t try to undertake filing these types of document yourself. If you get a lawyer, you’re always going to get a better outcome than if you had gone the entire situation on your own with no legal advice or help.