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Divorcing Because You’re Not On the Same Page

August 5, 2021 Uncategorized

True, many divorces are the consequence of one or both spouses’ infidelity, as well as financial difficulties, but there are numerous additional reasons why marriages collapse. Why are so many people divorcing? In the United States, approximately half of all first marriages end in divorce, and the divorce rate is even higher for second and third marriages.

 Marriage – a sacred covenant or a relic of the past? Is it possible that we’re marrying too soon? Or do we not know how to have a happy, long-lasting marriage? Perhaps the issue isn’t a “marriage,” but rather a “relationship.” Would you stay with your spouse for the rest of your life if you had all the money in the world and you were still not married to him or her? Doesn’t it make you think a little?

Many spouses remain in unhappy marriages for the reasons below:

  • They do it for the sake of the children
  • They are intimidated by the paperwork.
  • They have a hard time getting things started and finishing them.
  • Divorce appears to be too expensive or complex.
  • They are adamant about not dividing their assets.
  • They don’t want to not see their kids every day.
  • They don’t want their children to grow up with a stepmom or stepfather.
  • They are concerned that their spouse may turn their children against them.
  • They’re worried that their spouse may pit their younger child against their elder siblings.
  • They can’t picture their partner dating another woman.
  • They are terrified of being broke after the divorce, as well as being alone.
  • They’re afraid of being independent
  • They’ve been married for so long that they’re afraid of disrupting their pattern, even if it makes them unhappy
  • Perhaps they want to have their cake and eat it too. They chose to “pretend” to be joyful for the rest of the world while secretly committing adultery.

Divorce is caused by a variety of factors.

Our culture tries to figure out why so many people divorce. We all know that adultery, finances, domestic abuse, and hectic schedules can all put a strain on a relationship, but it’s not always as hard as it appears.

We need to think about why relationships fail in general, not just marriages. While marriage is a notion that lasts a lifetime, it is also a legal document that connects us to our partners. It’s difficult to break free once we’ve become financially entwined with our partners.

So, what is the simple reason why marriages end in divorce? It’s because, as time passes, spouses become more acquainted with one another and discover they have differences; they are not on the same page, and this can lead to:

  • Separate hobbies,
  • Separate lifestyle habits (e.g. she’s a health fanatic and he’s not),
  • Separate parenting styles, sometimes vastly different,
  • Separate religious perspectives,
  • Opposite personalities
  • Divergent ideas about household duties,
  • One is disorganized, while the other is a neat freak,
  • Divergent ideas about finances (e.g. he says money is unimportant matter and she disagrees),
  • Divergent ideas about romance (she’s believes in romance and he does not),
  • Divergent interests (e.g. he loves art galleries and hiking and she prefers to spend all day gardening at home),
  • Divergent views about family relationships (e.g. she believes family is everything and he prefers not to be close to family),
  • Divergent ideas about travel (he wants to see other countries and she doesn’t feel comfortable going overseas), and
  • Divergent ideas about health (she is vegan and he wants meat every day).

A marriage frequently ends because the spouses have nothing in common and little to talk about. They’ll feel morally bound to “make their marriage work” because they have children together or because of society’s expectations, even though they have little in common with the person lying next to them every night. This might happen when a couple marries fast without getting to know each other, or when they marry because of a strong sexual desire that fades as they come to know each other better. It can also happen when young couples married and have a lot of changes as they get older.

You Don’t Want to Hear This

We’re going to confront the elephant in the room, which you may not want to hear. Any family therapist, personal trainer, or hair stylist will tell you that they frequently hear this complaint from married people, particularly men: “He/she totally let themselves go after marriage, and I no longer find him/her attractive.”

Women are supposed to gain roughly 26 or 27 pounds after marriage, while men put on about the same amount. Men, on the other hand, are visual creatures, and they are more likely to complain about their wives acquiring weight than women are about their husbands gaining weight.

What will happen is that a young, athletic couple will fall in love and marry. They’ll become too accustomed to each other, and before long, they’ll be spending all of their free time together, eating unhealthy foods, watching TV, and imbibing excessive amounts of calorie-dense booze.

Before they know it, they’ve gained 25 or 30 pounds, their self-esteem has plummeted, they’re constantly “tired,” and they’ve lost their attractiveness. They’ll scarcely be acquainted in the bedroom before their gazes begin to travel beyond the marital bed.

The spouse will then meet a young, fit woman who will lavish all of her attention on him, and he will cheat. When the woman learns, the marriage is finished. While we don’t condone extramarital affairs in any way, this is regrettably a cycle that repeats itself in marriages. As a result, it’s worth highlighting.

Can you relate to this post? If you’re contemplating divorce, the best way to protect yourself and your finances is to speak with a Los Angeles divorce attorney at Spodek Law Group. Contact us today to set up your free, confidential consultation.



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